Things I Want to Get Better At

– Directing my dreams. Karl Lagerfeld reportedly gets ideas for his complex fashion shows from his dreams. After reading the article from whence I found that tidbit, before falling asleep I would purposely think about beautiful things. I had one dream that involved a beautiful fashion show, but I haven’t had any since then. What am I doing wrong?

– Running. Fitness centers should have running classes. I don’t mean everyone go running together like a group, I mean the drills that runners do to perfect their technique. I would take that class. Although I love running, it is not good on my body. I admire those who have the gazelle-like strides. I know that most are born with a body and form built for running, and my body definitely is not. It would be really helpful to take a running technique class. I could make my strides and movement more efficient, thus putting less impact stress on my joints. Does this class exist?

– Styling my hair. I have watched YouTube videos on how to curl your own hair, and the women on there make it look so easy. They part their hair in perfectly straight lines, and handle the curler as a chivalrous knight wields his sword. The times I’ve followed their steps, my hair ends up only half curled because my arms get tired and I give up. At that point my hair is a  brunette poodle and I am afraid to go any further. Granted, my curler is a 1″ diameter, and I think my hair needs a larger diameter to curl like I want it to. I haven’t tried it yet because regardless, it takes a long time to do, and I am too lazy in the morning. Maybe one day I’ll get my act together and stop wearing my hair in a bun and pretending that it’s because I’m a ballerina who had rehearsal earlier. What’s stopping me from being a coifed ballerina?

– Fantasy Football. After all the research and preparation I did, my fantasy football team’s record is currently 1-3. What the football, Frank? Shouldn’t I be in first place? I fully expected to be kicking some badonkadonk by now. I suppose the only way to get better is to play more and to pay even more attention to the NFL. But how much attention do I have to pay before I see results? Is there an algorithm for this?

– Existing in non-mild weather. I grew up in an area of the country that was very hot and humid during the summer. Somehow I got through it alive and left as soon as I could. I moved to the Bay Area and have since been completely spoiled by the weather. San Francisco’s weather especially has rendered me hesitant to move anywhere else in the country where a fashion industry thrives. New York? Hot and humid in the summer! Los Angeles? Hot. Hot! Portland? Not hot, but it rains too much. Rain! What am I going to do if I can’t live within seasonal weather patterns? Is there a way to practice living in seasonal weather patterns without actually living in them?


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